Financial issue in relationship

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2022.01.21 04:25 ardsgftfd Financial issue in relationship

I (29 f) live in a foreign country where I barely know anyone and where the language barrier is still there.
I have moved here thanks to an exchange student program. I. Wasn't planning to stay there after graduating but I met the man who is now my husband do I stayed.
I dropped my plans to stay here. I had plans to have a better carrier but I decided to stay here for him. As I don't master the language here it's not easy to find a well paid job.
However I tried and got some different jobs since I graduated.
Since I met my husband ( around 3 years) I have taken care of him financially, and emotionally. He wasn't in a good situation and I tried to help him as much as I could.
I don't know why but since I met him I just wanted to help him.
Our relationship evolved from being friends, to lovers to being married.
I have provided him with everything that I had / could, a roof, food, love and a lot of material stuff.
When we met I was finishing my studies and I was living on the loan that I took the same year. Soon after I started to work full time.
I have been the only one paying the rent, the bills and the groceries since ever.
He worked too for a little bit less than a year then he dropped it because he wanted to study.
Life went on and at this day it's been almost two years that I am the only one working in our relationship. Our financial situation is not great. He is not getting any money at all.
Before this happened, we moved to a better apartment, more expensive. I was thinking that we will share the charges so it was fine. I ended up taking care of everything and it has been hard for me. I never agreed on this situation.
Even though I don't agree with it I accepted it. I do my best and I often gift my husband expensive things that he likes and wants, buy video games... Because I still want him to be happy.
Lately he wanted to start studying in a business school and I even took a loan for him to cover the school fees.
Sometimes,I honestly have a bad behavior when he speaks about spending money or looks for expensive stuff online. I kind of think that he is not allowed to decide such things as I am taking care of everything alone.
Tonight we had a fight because he was looking at expensive Headsets online. I did not say anything to him but I felt bad and he couldn't understand why I would feel bad.
I just find it unfair. Unfair that I try to make him happy with everything that he wants when I stop myself to buy new things for me. Since I started to work I got us new laptops, phones and Everytime he got better, nicer and more expensive stuff. Because this is what he wanted.
I just find it unfair. I know it's wrong but sometimes this feeling is stronger than me.
Everytime we speak about money he gets mad and make me feel bad. He says that he would never say just things to me in the roles were reversed... We don't understand each other on this subject.
It is really a sensitive subject and I can never fully say truly how I feel.
So here I am, here is how I feel :
I feel like he doesn't understand me. I am feeling used. I am feeling exhausted. I feel like it will never end and this is how I should deal with my life now. I feel like I want to run away, go back to the place where I come from. I want to drop everything. I want this life to end. I often ask for my life to end.
I'm not proud of it but when I feel really down I hurt myself, it helps me with the bad feelings. I don't enjoy anything anymore. After my day of work all what I want is to lay in my bed and do nothing.
I feel like I am just crazy sometimes...
What should I do ?
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2022.01.21 04:25 prawnbiryani #unsplashcats #cute #adorable #kittens #cats #followformore

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2022.01.21 04:25 Bringerofsalvation Excuse for not going to physical class for uni

So this is the last semester my uni has online class. I’ve been having my core engineering classes online for about three weeks now and everything is going swimmingly.
But the lecturers of two of the absolutely useless classes ( Hubungan Etnik and Tamadun Islam) are saying we have to appeal to a committee to attend their classes online or we’ll be marked as absent.
Can anyone give me some plausible an d solid bullshit reasons that I can give in my appeal so that I don’t have to experience mind-numbing boredom in those physical classes?
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2022.01.21 04:25 cherrywine1618 Help please ; anxious-avoidant dance

I’m an ENFP and I’ve been talking to an INTJ for almost an year now.. he pursued me relentlessly until I fell head over heels for him and confessed.. he admitted to having feelings too but then I migrated and he still agreed to try long distance.. ever since the start of the “relationship” he got more busy with work and started pulling away.. I know they are bullshit excuses cus he used to talk to me for hours a day back then.. he switched to Snapchat and now I get to watch him just gaming the whole day when he’s not working or at the gym.. I’ve tried leaving because his changes are triggering extreme panic attacks to the point where I’m scared of him now.. it’s been almost 5 months of pushing and pulling because every time I try to leave he plays victim or gives me enough affection to make me change my mind.. I still dont want to spend the rest of my life suffering like this.. I have very bad intrusive thoughts and nightmares too but as pathetic as it sounds I still love him and I don’t want to get close to anyone new ever.. If I leave I’m scared I’ll die of loneliness because I can never think of loving someone again because he’s engraved in my brain to the point that everything reminds me of him.. its so hard because he made me open up about all my trauma and was so caring and affectionate in the beginning.. what do you recommend I should do
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